Muse Ridden

Alright now this is getting crazy. Things are starting to bunch up on me, and it seems absurd that things can go so casually for such a long while and then as things that interest and excite me come along time crunches up and other responsibilities come up that weren’t there before.

My weekend here is about to be gobbled up by errands and activities for several days in a row, and limiting how much of the thing I wanted to get done by the end of the month I can actually do. Then it’s back to work and scrabbling to use every last spare minute to do all those things I can, before prepping for the Halloween visit with family, and then a group thing… maybe. But if I don’t do that then I won’t get the Message in a bottle off on time and in the way I really wanted to (which might not happen anyway if I don’t get some things taken care of soon here).

The deadline for the mapping challenge with the cartographers’ guild is Saturday. So I’ve got a day to get that done and scanned into the computer.

Some of my other projects need to get handled soon too, while I await some things to get me ready to start writing in November. And of all the things that are driving me nuts, the fact that my mind is bent on creating more things to drive me nuts is the worst.

I had two story ideas to play with in November as of June. But since then a story idea muscled its way to the front and left me with three works on which to impale myself. Then in the last few weeks a whole new idea has come screaming forward to eclipse the others and leave me in shock.

There is no possible way that I would be able to type up four 50,000 word novels in one month. Which just annoys me further because there is a part of me that feels obliged to do it now that it’s been stated as impossible.

I’m stubbornly contrarian even with myself. But I also know that if I do even try to do it and am willing to see that it is not possible, I will have to compromise my remaining time which could be used to clear my plate of some of my other goals. I’ve nine things left on my master list to do and they have just about two month to go. If I use that time write four books then I lose it for achieving some f these goals.

Part of me knows what I have to do. I will just have to juggle the story roster to take the Two that will write fastest and that are mostly formed in my mind and plow through them as hard and fast as I can. Harder than I’ve ever done before. If I hit a hurdle at some point switch stories or pick up one of my other projects and plow into that. At the end of the first week I will see where things stand and set the new course based on the success I have at that point.

I remember how I felt in April when I wrote five scripts. I know I will have even more nights where I am wiped out and my brains feel like moosh. But at the same time it’s exciting and when I do bounce back the energy levels are higher and the creative platue is broken through and I get to greater heights.

It seems a cruel dance I am trapped in with my muses. Where we spin in and out of darkness and those moments in the sun are fiery hot and blinding but invigorating and beautiful.

Blast but sometimes I feel like a horse being ridden, and none too gently.

Well I’ve got to go optimize my time and see what I can achieve in a few days time to lighten the load to four novels by November. That sounds absurd even to me.

Take Care of yourselves,
Roving Jack