Serirously, I know life can be hard on people and life for both of us has been hard in general and in recent months. That's partly why I worry about you so much right now.
I've done my best to help where I can and should, if it were somebody else other than someone I lived with I'd do more, but as it stands it is not my place to help further.
You used to talk about being optemistic and posative, and now you withdraw and assume the worst.
The hardest thing about the whole situation is you get so upset at the slightest thing, that minor annoyances that are worth of a roll of the eyes and statement of your preferrances from now on in similar situations, have caused you panic, anger and depression. What's more is people who actively help and do their best to both sympathize and solve the problem become target.
Being angry is okay, being upset is okay, but then find a way to solve what caused the problem. Usually the answer doesn't involve fighting or running away. This fight or flight response to simple things may be a sign of something serious that nobody should try to hide or deal with alone.
Lashing out in frustration at others simply because they are not as upset, or don't see things from your point of view is like lashing out at a dog because it's in your way.
The thing I worry about most is that you'll convince yourself that you are unhappy with the people arouind you and the places you are in, and run away or push away... only to find some other place and some other people you are unhappy with and do it again, and again, and again. When the problem is that you are unhappy. Changing places and faces won't change that.
People who care can help you through rough spots but they not involnerable to lashing out.
I guess I'm just asking you to
take care of yourself,
Roving Jack
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